Welcome..
Well Im offically having the hardest/weirdist/worst week of my life..I've never felt so horrable.
SO it all started off..Yesterday lucas told me he had to make a cake for the cake auction..so me being a wonderful person..I told him a great idea that we could try...wrote down all the stuff he neded to buy and gave it to dad. So dad asked me..
"what is the plan?"
*dad fiddles with lots of stuff and looks away*
"dad are you listening? can u look at me?" *said in the nicest way possable*
*dad storms off*
I go out..and i couldnt concept why..he just stormed off..
so i went out in the living room to explain to him..and lucas starts yelling..
"Tracey!! stop..just tell him"
"Trac..why are you doing this..just tell him"
and i'll i was doing was being confused..and i couldnt understand why they were yelling.
so dad left..and asked me to start the cakes for them
SO i started the cakes..and i told the guys to come up and finish it..but no they needed dhelp..so i iced them...and we had to make 2 more cakes..so we did one fell apart..and the other one..i said we had to wait to do..
So I was cleaning up the kitchen..putting away the dishes in the dish washer for mom. and dad comes down and says.."TRACEY!! YOU CAN'T PUT POTS IN THAT, THAT BIG!!!!" and i waslike.."dad..mom did im putting them away" then dad stormed off..again..and i still didnt understnad..i was left emotionless..
so..sam called me to go out for coffee..and i really wanted to..so I told luke..to wait a while..and we would finish it later..and he said.."NO!! WE NEED TO DO IT NOW!!! WE WILL DO IT!" and i was like fine ok..and i went up and told dad that..and dad starts yelling at me..saying.."now its gonna look horrable..
and i was explaining to dad how its a contest..and luke is suppose to do it anyways. and i kept getting yelled at..and dad screamed.."Get out of my face" so i left..and just said..*to myself* Fuck it..and left with sam and Chris and went out to Coffee..i was really quiet..and i still couldnt concept what was going on.
then i lost everything..I just became..so numb..I didnt care what happend..what i did..how everything went..I was just numb i couldnt feel anything..so we drove aorund..went downtown..talked..and then me and sam went to Pita Pit..and then she dropped me home..dad starts yelling at me again..and i just said..Ok and went upstairs.I cried alot..and i really needed to talk to someone..so i called mark
i was on the phone..crying..telling him how confused i was..and he was on MSN..which mostly only bugged me beacuse..i just wanted him to give me time..to listen to my problems for once. so he kept saying..hold on a sec..and would go ahead and type on MSN..we talked for a bit..mostly me just explaining what was wrong..as good asi could..and i really just needed to listen to someone else's voice..that could maybe kick me back into sanity..or something..and mark says.."listen i gotta go" and it wasnt that bad..i mean if he had said that on any other day/time..I wouldnt have cared..but the reason was..that i was soo scared and i turned to him to help make it better..and he didnt have time for it. *Sigh* It may just be me..being retarded and emotional..and im sorry if i had offended anyone..or anything..
Im ScaredI've never felt like this before..and its scary..
LOVE
TraceR
"Stop."
"...we're disrupting the entire hall just so you can give me a hug."
"That's alright. Now, go." Current Mood: 
numb
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trac54's journal
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